Stuck in a Closet
by Olivia Parker
Summary: Arthur is enjoying his day until Francis shows up univited and gets them both stuck in a closet!
1. Chapter 1

_Hi, you awesome person! You're so awesome! You wanna know how I know?! It's because you were nice enough to even read this even if I'm an amateur! Anyway, I hope you like this story . . . it's crazy. . . I don't really expect you to think I'm sane after reading this. . . Anyway, on to more important things! After reading, please review. I like it when people review. Don't you! It's like a bottle of instant happiness! _

_Special thanks to my cousin (For editing and stuff! I love you, cousin) and to a girl who's named after an author (For being my idea-person. I love you too!)_

_Anyway . . . on with the story! _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own APH.**_

* * *

It was a lovely afternoon in London. It was one of the rare occasions the sun had decided to come out and grace the whole of England with his warm, luminous presence. The pale blue sky was free from those gloom clouds that usually hung over city. It was on days like that that almost everyone in England was in high spirits.

Arthur Kirkland sat on his chair enjoying his afternoon tea while embroidering a pillow case.

_It's a brilliant day today. There is nothing that could possibly ruin this absolutely magnificent afternoon_

Or so he thought.

It was at that very moment that the doorbell rang. _What th-?! Who the bloody hell could that be?!_

As Arthur made his way to the door, it opened_. How the bloody hell did that just happen? I always keep that bloomin' door locked! So how the bloody he-_

He thought was cut off when he saw the blonde man standing at his doorway . . . _Oh for God's sake?! Is the bloody universe against me having at least one perfect day to myself?! _

"You should really learn to hide your spare key in a more esoteric place, mon cheri."

"What are you doing here, you frog? You've come just to ruin my day, haven't you?"

"Angleterre, you hurt my feelings! Must you always assume that I am here just to bother you?!"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I must. You never fail at ruining a perfectly wonderful day . . . So? How do you plan on ruining my day this time, you bugger?"

"Mon ami, I do not want to ruin your day. In fact, I came here to make it more pleasant! How could you possibly resist spending a day with moi?!"

"Believe me, it isn't really that hard. Now . . . goodbye."

Arthur was closing the door, only to find that he couldn't; Francis had literally made his own foot a doorstop.

"Angleterre! That was so rude of you! You are supposed to be a gentleman, oui?! Are you really just going to shun me even when I've come all this way just to make you even more joyful?! "

"Fine, then. Come in! Just don't bother me."

Francis entered the well furnished house. He had to hand it to Arthur; his house was beautiful. It was very large and elegant in a way, but it still had a touch of coziness to it. Francis found himself staring at its splendor while Arthur walked back to his chair.

_**After a few moments of silence . . . **_

"Angleterre!" The sudden noise made Arthur jump thus causing him to involuntarily throw his tea cup in the air.

"You berk! Look what you made me do!"

"I am sorry, Angleterre. I did not mean to startle you."

Arthur gave him an ominous look making anyone less run away in pure terror before finally walking toward a closet where he kept some of his cleaning supplies.

_Why?! Why does this always have to happen to me?! That bloody frog makes everything all topsy-turvy ever-bloody-time he comes to visit. I hate that bloody muppet! He made me throw my teacup, my precious teacup, into the air! Queen Elizabeth I had given me that bloody teacup! It was absolutely priceless! She gave me an entire set, of course, but nonetheless, I'm still so bloody upset! Now where are the mop, broom and dustpan when you need them?_

He opened the closet door and delved into the closet looking for the mop, broom and dustpan. _Darn. Where'd I put those, again?!_

Feeling remorseful, Francis made his way toward the closet where Arthur was rummaging for a mop or something. Francis had almost reached the closet when he slipped on the fallen tea and landed on his butt in the cabinet. He grabbed the doorknob for support to get up accidentally closing the door in the process!

"Francis, you bloody berk! Do you realize that this door locks from the outside! Thanks to you, we're stuck in here! Bloody hell! Of all days to be stuck in a closet, it just had to be one of the only day it didn't rain here in my country! Of all the people to be stuck with in a closet, it just had to be you! I hate you, do you know that?! I hate you!"

"Angleterre relax, we will find a way out this closet, oui? We must just stay calm. If we do not, we will lose oxygen more quickly. . ."

"And how do you suppose we are going to find a way out of a closet that locks from the outside?

"Angleterre, you and I have strategized a great deal of battles and you are afraid of a door? Since when have we been afraid of desperate situation, mon cheri? If we think hard enough, surely, we will find a way out . . . "

_**10 minutes later. . . **_

"That's it! We are stuck here! Bloody hell! I do NOT want to die with you!"

"Mon cheri, we must continue thinking!"

Arthur paced back and forth in the cramped space thinking about how he might day in a closet with Francis. _What if someone found our remains? What would they think?!_ Every single second he spent thinking about the situation made the images of what would happen at least ten times worse. Then he accidentally kicked a small object.

"What was that?"

"I do not know, mon ami."

Arthur picked up the small object and let out a cry of joy!

"It's my celly! I've been looking for it all week! We can use it to call somebody to come over and unlock the door! We're saved! Thank goodness. . ."

* * *

_I hope you liked chapter one! They're not going to get out of that closet that easily, you know? I'd never let that happen! It'd be too boring! Chapter 2 is coming soon!_

_By the way, you might think that I just misspelled 'jerk', I didn't I really meant berk. A berk means a clumsy idiot in British slang. _


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so sorry I didn't get to update in such a long time! I had so many things to do for school! I had so many games against other schools so I didn't have the time to write!

Anyway . . . no more delays! On with the story!

* * *

"Come on . . . come on . . . pick up, Alfred! Pick up!"

"Hello?"

"Alfred, you have to come here and hel-"_. _

_Before he could finish his sentence, his phone's battery __**died.**_

* * *

"Well?! What did he say?!

"The bloody phone died, you idiot! We're not going to be able to get out of here! We can't call anyone! We're going to die here, I just know it! I hate you! You just had to be such a bloody berk all the time! You just can't let me have at least one perfect day to myself, can you? "

"Angleterre, I did not _intend _to ruin your day. I came here to keep you company. You are almost always alone, oui? Nonetheless, I am truly sorry for having gotten us stuck here, mon cheri. You must believe me when I say that, but right now, we must figure a way out of here."

"And how do you suppose we do that, you frog? In case you didn't remember, my celly just died. There is no possible way to contact anyone to come and unlock this bloomin' closet!"

"Angleterre, we have been captured at war many-a-time and you are afraid of a door? Mon cheri, we have been able to get out of tougher situations than this. We have strategized multiple battles. Surely, a door cannot defeat us, oui?"

"I suppose you're right. . . Let's get to it then . . ."

* * *

After about 2 hours of trying to figure a way out of the closet that kept them away from the outside world, Arthur went insane . . . It was almost as if he had gone out drinking and had gotten lost in the wilderness for 50 days . . .

"Admit it, frog. We've been at this for hours and we still haven't figured a way out of this bloody closet."

"Do not stop believing, mon cheri. We will find a way . . ."

"I did not know you were a fan of Journey, frog . . . "And with that, Arthur Kirkland, the one who is always sane (save for when he's drunk), broke out in to song . . .

"Just a small town girl . . . livin' in a lonely world . . . she took the midnight train going anyywheeere . . ."

"Angleterre . . ."

"Just a city boy. . . born and raised in South Detroit. . . he took the midnight train going anyywheere . . ."

"Angleterre?"

"A singer in a smoky roo-"

_**THWAK! The slap was so strong, the sound echoed in the cramped closet. **_

"Snap out of it! You say you want to get out of here, but you don't do anything about it! I do not see any logic in that, mon ami!"

"Don't you dare slap me you frog! If you do that again, I'll-"

"What? Hit me? Go ahead, Angleterre! I do not care at this point! All I want is to get you out of this closet so you can enjoy your precious little day by yourself! Just like what you've always wanted! If I have to slap you to get you to concentrate at this point just so you can get out, I will take a thousand hits from you! I might even say I deserve those hits for ruining your day without intending to! All I wanted was to keep you company! It's almost as if you get hurt every single time you are around me. If you hate being around me so much, mon cheri, concentrate so we can get out of this closet and move on with our lives! Concentrate so we get out sooner! The sooner we get out, the sooner I will be able to leave you alone, because as I see it, every time I try to make you happy, to make you love me, mon cheri, I end up making you hate me all the more; and believe me, I do NOT want that!"

"F-Francis . . . I'm sor-"

"Shut up. I don't want your apologies. I just want to get you out and stop making you hate m-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Arthur kissed him! That's right . . . Arthur Kirkland, the man who always despised him, called him frog and constantly insulted him, had leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss was shorter than he wanted it to be, but it was a kiss nonetheless . . .

"Angleterre . . . I-"

"We're getting out of here. I don't care how we're going to do it, but we're going to do it. When we get out, I'm taking you out to dinner, do you understand me?"

"Oui."

"Good. Now lets' figure a way out of here."

* * *

"Alright, here's the plan. There is a vent up there. All you have to do is lift me up to that vent so I can crawl outside through another vent. Once I get out, I'm going to unlock the door so you can get out. Are we clear?"

"Oui, mon cheri. We are clear."

With that Francis lifted Arthur up, while Arthur wiggled his way into the vent . . .

"Damn, it's dark in here! I can't see a thing! Oh wait! I think I see another vent! Thank heavens! We're going to get out here! Yes!"

Arthur wriggled his way to the other vent, opened it then crawled out.

"Why the bloody hell is it so dark?

"Angleterre, you just crawled back into the closet . . ."

"Drat!"

* * *

"OK, so here's plan B: We will take turns ramming the door. Kicking it, bumping into it, anything at all! If it works for Belarus, it should work for us, correct! Let's get to it!"

"Alright."

"You hit it first then I'll go. We'll take turns. On the count of three . . . 1. . . 2 . . . 3!"

With that, the two nations started, kicking and slamming themselves at the door.

"I think it's beginning to come loose! We'll be out soon I know it! If we hit it together strong enough one last time, it should budge! One! Two! Three! "

And so they ran to the door, putting all their force and might into it, preparing for impact. . . but it never came . . .

The door had opened and the two nations fell on their faces.

* * *

"How did that happen? We didn't even hit the bloody door yet and it open-"

"Hi, Iggy! Hi, Francis!"

"Alfred?! What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"You called and I got worried because you sounded so panicked, so I came to see if you were alright."

"How did you know we were in there?! And more importantly, how the bloody hell did you get in my bloody house?!"

"Um. . . the spare key?"

"I really should find a better hiding place for that damned key . . . Wait. How'd you know we were in the closet?"

"You guys make a lot of noise you know that?! Anyway, do you want to go to McDonalds with me?!"

"No, thanks. I have. . . embroidery to do . . ."

"Oh . . .OK. Francis?"

"I have to . . . go . . . to the . . . grocery."

"Oh. OK, I guess I'll have to ask Mattie to come with me then . . . Bye!"

"Bye." The two nations said at exactly the same time while walking Alfred hurriedly out the door.

"Alright. He's gone. So, mon cheri, where are we having dinner?" the Frenchman said with a smirk.


End file.
